It's finally all over with.

I decided to hold off on posting about the whole miscarriage thing until it was all over with and I could write about it with the right kind of perspective. As emotional as it was, I think I can now look back on it and reflect on everything in a more positive way. That said, there are a few things I've learned about this kind of loss.

#1: It doesn't matter if it's your third pregnancy.

I will never pretend to understand what it feels like to have infertility struggles. I have had far too many friends that I've seen go through this pain, and I am THRILLED to say that every single one of them as since been blessed with at least one child. I won't ever know that pain though, and I can't even come close to comparing that with what this felt like. I have the upmost respectful for anyone who has gone through this multiple times, trying desperately for a miracle. I will say though, that while the fact that I have two children already is a blessing, it doesn't make the hurt go away. So many people said that to me over the past few weeks..."you have two children already, so at least that's good." Todd and I are comforted with the knowledge that we can get pregnant again. But it doesn't make this suck any less.

#2: A gajillion people have had this happen to them.

I've heard it before, but you don't realize it until you start talking to people once it's happened to you. It's super common. Successful pregnancies are true miracles. Babies, no matter how they come to you, are an AMAZING thing....whether or not you carried them.

#3: It doesn't matter if it stopped growing at five weeks and that it was early.

Anyone who has seen that first pregnancy test (and the next five to follow), knows the feeling that your life is about to change. So when you think you are eight weeks pregnant, and you see a five week gestational sac with no heartbeat, it's still a lost baby to you. It does not matter when it stopped growing.

#4: I have a lot of amazing and supportive friends.

They didn't care that I ignored their phone calls because I was too upset when they were just checking in on me. They just wanted to know I was okay. I felt everyone's prayers, and my friendships are blessings enough for me. No matter what is happening in my life (my grandfather passing away, Penn State falling apart, THIS), I have my friends.

#5: Pain strengthens marriage.

What a month we've had. I sent Todd out tonight to dinner with his best friend (paid for by my 31 commission) to thank him for being the most amazing person I could have ever asked for. Honestly...while I was sleeping off the anesthesia, the guy was steam cleaning our carpets, checking on me every once in awhile to see if I needed anything. WHAT GUY DOES THAT? He's awesome. I love him.

And now I am done discussing this issue, and promise that my next post will be lighthearted and fun. Because it's the weekend. It's not like we have an Open House on Sunday to be cleaning for all day Saturday....or conference reports to finish for parent-teacher conferences next week...or lesson plans to write....sigh.